Those that know me know that I never became a mother.
I have had mixed feelings about this ranging from enormous relief to low-grade regret. I have wondered whether not having a child has robbed me from that instinct of learning how to love in a truly unconditional way.
My friends have had a variety of experiences regarding this. Some have said that childbirth has bestowed on them a new outlook, an outlook that has freed them from their persecuting self-recrimination. Mostly though, they still suffer with their dark passenger.
I have had mixed feelings about this ranging from enormous relief to low-grade regret. I have wondered whether not having a child has robbed me from that instinct of learning how to love in a truly unconditional way.
My friends have had a variety of experiences regarding this. Some have said that childbirth has bestowed on them a new outlook, an outlook that has freed them from their persecuting self-recrimination. Mostly though, they still suffer with their dark passenger.
Dealing with my Dexter has taught me that perhaps childbirth has not robbed me of a mother role. That in this battle, I need to replace negative self talk with a gentle mothers voice.
I have a child. My very own inner child. And so do you.
If I had become a mother, I would never dream of telling my child how ugly, stupid, fat or useless she was. I would not socially isolate her, deprive her of joy or starve her to appease societies warped standards.
It would be my priority to love her, nourish her with the healthiest food, make sure she had comfortable clothes, and treat her like a princess. I would tell her everyday that she was precious and perfect. Just the way she was.
I would encourage her to have fun. I would tickle her and make her laugh. And if anyone insulted her, I would tell her that, beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were not worth shedding a tear over.
I would teach her to never compare herself to others. EVER.
I would avoid depreciating remarks.
I would protect her from attack.
While our evil twin, our dark wolf, has no problem dishing out dollops of self-recrimination, we have the opportunity to practice self-parenting.
If I could give my little girl no other gift in the world, my top choice would be self-esteem. And you?
So, remember your inner child today and celebrate "Happy Mothering yourself day" on Sunday.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Just for today.
