Today I am dealing
with something that I find very difficult.
The whole debacle started with me checking out Facebook.
Friend:
See you tomorrow at X’s!
Me: Pardon?
Friend (after
a very pregnant pause): Ah um, her Birthday Party? Oh I guess you weren’t…
Me
(putting her out of her misery): No, I wasn’t invited. It’s cool though. No
worries, I’m fine. (And I was at that point)
Friend:
You know how it is….it was kind of last-minute…
Me: Ag man
…it’s cool. I have other plans.
Friend:
Well just so know, I still like you.
You cringing for me?
I know.
These are the things
we don’t like to talk about.
In fact, when I have
been confronted with situations like this in the past, I have ALWAYS ignored it
with platitudes like “I don’t care what people think of me.”
Of course age has
taught me that my platitudes are nothing more than emotional barricades I have
constructed to block the hurt of rejection. Inside, my authentic response can
range anywhere from humiliated hurt to full on bouts of unsure depression.
I don’t want to
experience either end of the spectrum, or anywhere in between anymore.
So it got me to start
thinking why it is always so important for me to be liked by others?
As hard as it is, the
bottom line is that some people will like you. Others will not.
90 % of
someone not liking you has very little to do with you, at all.
It has
more to do with their perceptions and their inner emotional world. When
someone hates you, it's usually because you ignite something inside of them
that they really need to deal with.
We have to find a way
to release the need to be liked or even respected by others
If you are doing the
best you can with what you have, give up
your lifetime membership to the People Pleasing Society. There are no
membership benefits …honestly.
Realize
that if everyone did like us that would mean that we were doing something
wrong. People have different opinions and becoming a social chameleon just so
everyone thinks you agree with them isn’t fair to you or to them.
Just move forward with your life.
Just for
today.
